John Waters, 71<\/em>, actor, filmmaker, writer, director, producer of such cult classic as Pink Flamingos<\/em>, Hairspray<\/em> & Cry Baby<\/em> and as of late, a stand up performance artist, has been touring his holiday Christmas show for a few years now and there\u2019s no sign of it letting up anytime soon. This years show, set in Pilsen, was yet again sold out and standing room only proving there are plenty of perverted and demented souls in the Windy City looking for crooked enlightenment. Waters is happy to oblige.<\/p>\n It\u2019s hard to track John Waters, as he doesn\u2019t do social media or even have a website, but that doesn\u2019t stop fans from finding him. He does do TV and radio appearances as well as write books though. For this show, he did however release some advertising in the form of tiny little chocolate’s with the event info detailed on it. As Waters pointed out during the show, he\u2019s just as busy today as he has been for the last five decades in the business. This event is his personal connection and outlet to his fans where he can speak his mind and boy does he ever. If you\u2019re not familiar with Waters style, let\u2019s just say it\u2019s brash enough to make a back alley transvestite crack head hooker blush.<\/p>\n It\u2019s nine o\u2019clock. The house lights dim. The audience erupts with cheers as John Waters walks out to center stage. The stage is set very simple. One tall Christmas tree framed the center back stage adorn with white lights set against a black backdrop with snowflake lighting. A ring of blue and white spotlights surround Waters as he takes command. Dawning his trademark pencil thin mustache, he\u2019s dressed to the nines with a black and plaid suit custom tailored suit, white collared undershirt with bright red tie and red laceless vans. He rambles off several greetings to his fans like, \u201cThank you and welcome to the John Waters Merry Christmas Massacre 2017!\u201d, \u201cWe\u2019re gonna put the X back in x-mas\u201d and \u201cMerry Fist-mas!\u201d He reaches into his tiny toy sack and throws out packets to the crowd exclaiming, \u201cAnal bleach for all and Merry Fist-mas and Happy hole-a-day!\u201d<\/p>\n Waters proceeds to dive right in and talk about topics like; “What is the meaning of Christmas?” “Who was baby Jesus and how was Mary a virgin anyway?” He continues with discussion about how did the nativity scene take place and who was really involved in that attraction.<\/p>\n Taking the conversation into another direction, Waters moves on to a discussion about hipsters and ugly clothes, how trends start and having a punk rock Christmas. He then steers into the direction of how he wants his own amusement park and what kinds of rides he\u2019d have.<\/p>\n Of course he pushes the political buttons as well with call outs to the Republican Party, poking and jabbing as only he can. Surprisingly, he\u2019s very open minded and urges those members to come forward to make claim against him and stand up for what they believe in. At one point actually calling out for any Republican\/Trump supporters to stand up saying, \u201cWe probably have some Trump supporters here and you\u2019re welcome here. I\u2019m not a separatist. I\u2019m hoping that during the questions and answers you can get up and say something as hideous as I\u2019m saying to make us laugh too.\u201d He continued with, \u201cBecause that\u2019s the only thing we can do now, it\u2019s civil war. The only way we can get each other to change is to get each other to laugh at our positions.\u201d He goes on to describe how he would make the world if he were president and the unholy changes he would make.<\/p>\n Another segment of the show was about his fondness for unsafe Christmas and sex toys. Waters explained how a list comes out each year and he collects the things from it. Also, how he wants to invent new sex games, clothes with glory holes and the want for gays to be more outlaws and bad guys exclaiming, \u201cSanta could give out gay ID\u2019s if you passed the test. You should have to audition to get in.\u201d<\/p>\n Waters pondered other aspect of the holidays like, \u201cIs Santa erotic?\u201d \u201cIs Mrs. Claus a chubby chaser or a blouse?\u201d He addressed the issue of people assuming he hates Christmas saying, \u201cI don\u2019t hate it, I just hate many of its traits.\u201d He told us about how he makes Christmas cards and who gets them. How he hates gift cards and fruit baskets but sex website gift cards can be all right.<\/p>\n Other topic revolved around holiday travel, airline flight do\u2019s and don\u2019ts, hot gay republicans and how bad Santa ain\u2019t just a movie, but a way of life.<\/p>\n He ending the night describing his perfect Christmas day being back home with nutty squirrels, flogging blue balls, Divine would be back, Cookie would be there and how he\u2019d click his heels and he\u2019d be back in Chicago sharing a cauldron of black Kool-Aid and we\u2019d all drink together and go into convulsions. We\u2019d be the chosen people and the filthiest people alive. That\u2019s who Waters wants to be with and from the audience responses, they want it back.<\/p>\n After the one man show was over, he thanked everyone and opened up to the crowd for a Q&A discussion. Waters said, \u201cGo ahead, ask me anything, don\u2019t be shy.\u201d The questions came in from all around the room for a good 20 minutes with more hands left in the air even after he said he had to stop. We\u2019re not shy in Chi-town. We threw out a few great ones like, what\u2019s his favorite lube, asking him about his adventures with Paul Rubens (Pee-Wee Herman) and one man stood up and asked, \u201cHow\u2019d you like my dress?\u201d I got my question in after the show where I asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s your opinion on the new \u201cDildo of Death\u201d (a custom made dildo where you can put in the ash remains of a loved one) and who would you put in it?\u201d To which he quickly replied, \u201cBrad Nowells\u201d<\/p>\n John Waters is refreshingly honest, brutally vain and unabashedly funny. The stories rolled out strong like a stream of urine behind a freshly passed kidney stone. His comic timing just as precise as he write his scripts and overall passion for lectures like a psychopath killer in a Halloween thriller. Waters delivers the goods. Of course they\u2019re all lumps of coal, but at least they\u2019re nicely coated in gun oil<\/em> for your pleasure.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/beintheloopchicago.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/John-Waters-live-in-Chicago-at-Thalia-Hall-A-John-Waters-Christmas-2017-1-2-1024x489.jpg\")
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